This is SO witty! I read it out to my husband who said it's too late, I already have all the symptoms and it's too late for him to do anything about it!
(I love the picture of Monty Roberts you used, by the way. I suppose that's what we are actually, not horse whisperers but 'word whisperers!)
Veni, vidi...Wiki! Not long ago I had the all-time greatest Great Idea: one, born of total ignorance, that nearly tanked a novel. As you may have guessed from my opening line, my subject is Julius Caesar. But you might not have guessed from the title that my Great Idea entailed his being reborn as a penis. Don't laugh, please, I beg you. I saw no way around this, even though showing JC as a 'dick' might lead some to think that I've written a spoof. In fact, it's a serious thriller. Without giving the plot away, I can say this: I needed JC's ghost, today, remembering his nights with Cleopatra on her fabled golden barge. There was the heart of my book--a ghost trying for 2000 years to relive that lost boogie with Liz. And I'd begun to run with this when my memory corrected me: Mark Anthony, not JC, was on the barge with Cleo. And this was after JC's death. What the hell was I to do, lacking the good sense to check memory's 'facts
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Roz Morris aka @Roz_Morris . Blog: Nail Your Novel
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Let me confess: I'm a fan of round-robin christmas letters. It's fashionable to diss them in the UK, but I disagree. Even if the missive is smug and airbrushed and claims the golden offspring can split the atom, it’s more meaningful than a card that only says 'from Nina and Frederik'. But since I approve of Christmas newsletters, that means I must compose one. And I don't know what to put. I spent this year writing, rewriting, talking to other writers and, er, working out what to write next. Sure, there was adventure and atom-splitting, but it happened on the page and in my head. And that's my update. One paragraph. How can I spread it out? When in doubt, study the requirements of the genre. Boasting Christmas letters need boasting, with bells on. Your friends will report a mighty throng of promotions, bonuses, and other unceasing achievements. Traditionally published authors can name-drop with the i
The Watchtower from the Saltings (Photo Tom Barr) How to connect a 1940s naval watchtower on the Tollesbury marshes, a brilliant Scottish knitwear designer and my all-time favourite novelist? The investigation led me along the single-track lanes south-east from Tollesbury, heading towards the end of the old railway line to Tollesbury Pier. I began to get goosebumps as I remembered coming here before. Once on a long walk with my dog, when I was never quite sure where we were trespassing but was determined to explore anyway. That was when I first saw the six-sided building, stark and guarded against the weather. Then I saw it again in my imagination: ‘It’s a t-tower,’ said David. Xanthe loved the way he said it with a shiver of excitement in his voice. ‘It’s in the m-middle of a f-field and it looks right down the r-river.’ ‘And when it was wartime the Navy built it so they could keep a lookout against invaders,’ added Kieran. ‘Then p-zow they’d press a button and the whole
Happy Easter! Griselda Heppel channelling her inner Maggie Smith as Professor MacGonagall from Harry Potter. World Book Day has been and gone and I can now reveal my costume, having kept you in suspense for a whole month. I know. Lucky me, I found this splendid Professor MacGonagall outfit online and have been channelling my inner Maggie Smith ever since (soon to move on to the Dowager Countess What is a weekend? Grantham from Downton Abbey ). I was pleasantly surprised by how comfortable it was and reckon these Hogwarts wizards and witches know a thing or two about Practical Wear for Muggle Workshops (Spells, Charms and the Magic of Books Part 1, for instance). I’ve never before given author talks on each of my books all in one day (including two separate ones on The Fall of a Sparrow ) and I did wonder if I’d end up muddling all 3 of them (oops) or conking out altogether. Fortunately the stories are each so different in theme and background, and the Christ Church Cathedral Schoo
You know that feeling of finding some coins down the back of the sofa? I was clearing out a drawer recently and came across an unused £10 National Book Token from ages ago... so long ago, in fact, that it had expired. "Ah well," I thought, "it was obviously a gift at the time, so easy come easy go..." and then I discovered that you can actually renew one of these tokens if it has expired. So I sent the details online to National Book Tokens, along with a photo of my expired card, and they emailed me a replacement. I could probably have spent this online too, but decided to enter into the spirit of olde-worlde book shopping and buy my gift-book from a local independent bookseller. I also decided it should be non-fiction, and so I chose the wonderful Arcturus Books in Totnes. Turned out I pretty much wanted to buy everything in the shop, but my token (being rather devalued over the 15 years or so it spent in my drawer) would only buy one book. In the end, I allowed th
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Thanks for bringing it to our attention! :-)
(I love the picture of Monty Roberts you used, by the way. I suppose that's what we are actually, not horse whisperers but 'word whisperers!)